Come Back To What You Know
by Hez-xx
Summary: It's been six years since Emily left. When Naomi visits her Mum in Cyprus, she ends up getting a lot more than she ever bargained for.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N; Had this written up for a while, tweaked a few things & I've decided to go ahead in post it. Updates will be quite regular, if there's interest. **

**I own nothing... But I kinda wish I owned a certain Miss Campbell *cough***

"Our flight has been fucking delayed," I huffed, turning on my heel to further complain to my friend, who was no longer standing directly behind me like she was a few seconds ago. I cursed some more and picked up my bag, dodging through the many bodies in the busy airport lounge. I was extra careful not to knock into anyone with my luggage, not that the thoughtfulness was returned, some middle aged man nearly knocking me off my feet as he sprinted past, clearly late. I bit my tongue, stopping myself from shouting out some kid of verbal insult.

"Naomi, over here," as I heard my name being called, my gaze fell upon my friend, happily waving two drinks in the air from the nearby bar.

"Our flights delayed, two hours," I groaned, dumping my bag at my feet as I accepted the glass of alcohol. As I brought the glass to my lips and took a mouth, the strong taste of vodka burned at my throat, making me cough. "Jesus, Zo. What the fuck,"

"Treble vodka," She grinned, taking a mouthful of her own. "Thought we'd start this holiday in style."

"I keep knocking them back, I won't see the first few days of this holiday," I scrunched my face and placed the glass on the table, reaching into my jeans pocket, I found my phone. "I best text my Mum, let her know we're delayed."

The whole holiday idea belonged to my a Mum, who had moved out to Cyprus with Kieran fifteen months ago. I decided to stay back in Bristol, although at times, I did question why I had been silly enough to make that choice. The move didn't really appeal much to me then as it did now. I had enjoyed two separate visits since Mum moved, one for three weeks, the other for five days but it had become more difficult with work now. Working for a big company in the City wasn't always great. This was a surprise, a birthday present from Mum as I'd be turning twenty-five in a few days. She even went and booked two tickets so I could bring a friend and after much deliberation between my two best friends, I agreed Zoe would come along.

Zoe was one of my best friends. We met through work over a year ago and since then, the beautiful, dark haired, Irish toned girl had become a constant in my life. At times, I really did wonder where I would be if it wasn't for her. She was reliable, good fun and at times, she reminded me of friends from my younger years. I could put my trust in her and I hadn't had that for a long time. It's been six years since college. Six years since my group of friends all went off in different directions. Six years since Emily.

It sometimes felt like six days, never mind six years but that was only on the bad days, which were less frequent than they used to be. I fucked up and Emily left, that was pretty much it in a nutshell. I lost everything because I was scared, scared to love and scared to allow myself to be loved. Emily was gone and I wasn't sure my heart had properly dealt with that fact. Out of everyone from college, Cook was the only one I had managed to keep in touch with. After moving away for a few months, he was now back living a few minutes away, which meant I saw him on a daily basis. I was pleased about that as it was never really the same without him.

"Naoms," my friend placed her hand on my arm, breaking me from the thoughts running through my mind. "Are you okay? You were miles away just then,"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I never was a good liar.

"Is this about, Lucy?"

"No, it's totally not about her," I shake my head, sipping at my drink. For once in the last few months, it wasn't about my ex girlfriend who suddenly decided she infact did prefer cock and fucked off with some guy she had been seeing behind my back. That hurt but in a way, I felt I probably deserved it for what I did to Emily. What goes around comes around and all that.

"Thank fuck for that," she smiled, to say Zoe wasn't too fond of Lucy was a bit of an understatement. She tried to like her just for me but it was obvious that's all it ever was. "I never did think she was good enough for my little Naomikins anyway,"

"What have I told you about calling me that?"

"Something about not doing it, I dunno, wasn't really listening," she laughs for a moment, bringing a smile to my lips. "You can blame Cook."

"Do you like him?" I pushed, seeing Zoe blushing behind her glass. I had noticed the two of them getting on like a house on fire lately. "You do, don't you?"

"He's okay,"

"Which means, you fancy him, I knew it."

"He's not a complete cock all the time, that's all I'm saying."

"Uh huh," I smiled knowingly. "Another drink?" She changed the subject, lifting two empty glasses from the table and ignoring the smile on my face.

"Go on then. No trebles though, yeah? I don't wanna be pissing drunk on the flight,"

"When did my good friend get so boring, huh?" She teased me, poking out her tongue before she strolled across to the bar.

It was gone 10pm local time when we arrived safely in Cyprus. I managed to settle my flight nerves by falling asleep, rather uncomfortably for the best part of two hours. Mum was excitedly waiting at the arrivals gate and she instantly came into view as soon as we turned the corner. She rushed over, almost knocking me off my feet as she enveloped me in a hug I needed more than I had originally thought.

"Jesus. You've missed me then?" I laughed, feeling her grip tighten.

"Everyday," my mum beamed happily, tucking a piece of my now darkened hair behind my ear. It was difficult being apart from her, as much as I'd always tell her I was fine back in Bristol, I think she knew at times I wasn't. Mother's instinct she'd say. "You're looking well,"

"I look like shit," I laughed lightly at the disapproved look I was met with and then remembered my Mum & best friend had never met previously. "Oh Mum, this is Zoe. She's the flat mate I've been telling you about,"

"It's nice to meet you, Miss Campbell,"

"Oh please love, call me Gina," We left the airport lounge and started making our way towards the car park, my Mum & Zoe walking a fair few paces in front of me. I was happy to lag behind, taking the opportunity to take a few drags of a sneaky cigarette before I reached the car. Mum's been at me to quit for ages but I don't seem to have the determination in me to stick at it.

Within twenty minutes of being sat in the back if the car, Zoe had fallen asleep. Too much vodka and not enough shut eye on the flight, I chuckle too myself and turn around again, gazing out the passenger window.

"She seems nice," my Mum broke the silence, signalling her head back towards the sleeping figure in the back seat. "Really lovely girl,"

"Dunno where I'd be without her,"

"How have you been, you know, since Lucy?"

"Fine." I answer simply, refusing the shift my gaze from the window I had been staring out of for the last few minutes. I could feel my Mum's eyes blaze through the side of my head. "Shouldn't you be focusing on the road? I actually want to enjoy my time here, not spend it in hospital or worse still-"

"It's okay to be hurt, you know?"

"I'm not."

"I'm your Mother, Naomi." She answers softly, driving on for a few silent seconds before continuing. "I know you love, I know when you're hurting."

"You're wrong this time."

"I knew when you were hurting over Emily, quite the grumpy little shit." She smiles & I feel my stomach tighten almost instantly. I hated talking about Emily with Mum. She always could read me like a book when it came to her. A small book with very big print.

"Why did you have to mention, Emily?" I scowled, already hating where this conversation was going.

"Maybe it's not Lucy you're hurting over. Maybe it's still Emily."

"Bullshit!" I scoffed. "Can we just not, Mum, please?" I stressfully rubbed my fingers over my temple. "It's been a long day, some kid drove me mad on the flight & I'm tired. I just want to get some sleep and start this holiday tomorrow."

The rest of the journey to the apartment was mainly silent, only briefly catching up on how work was going, how Kieran was and how the weather had been. Small talk really but I was tired and I didn't have the energy for any type of proper conversation, especially about Emily.

Kieran was still awake when we arrived, greeting me in one of those massive cuddles of his. Turns out he had missed me just as much as my Mum did. After introducing Zoe to another new face, I made my excuses and retired to bed, collapsing in a tired heap once I had shown my friend where she'd been staying for the next two weeks. I knew she'd be asleep almost instantly and, as I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, I wished it was as easy as that for me to switch off.


	2. Chapter 2

"Fucking hell," I groaned, shading my eyes from the blazing sun shining brightly through the window. I had to admit, waking up to the crisp Cyprus sunshine was a refreshing change from the dark, gloomy, grey clouds of Bristol. I lay away for a few moments, allowing myself to wake up properly before I tossed aside the thin sheet I had slept with.

I heard no movement from the spare bedroom where Zoe slept, so padded my way through the apartment to shower, returning to my bedroom not long after to slip into some shorts and a vest shirt. It felt good to put summer clothes on, a big change from wrapping up in several layers like I had been doing for the last few months.

"Morning," I greeted Kieran as I walked into the kitchen, he was busy over the cooker, doing up some breakfast with the radio on in the background. Rather loudly, until he heard me. When he attempted to lower the volume, he knocked over a glass and swore, making me laugh as I remembered just how clumsy he could be.

"Great, you're awake," his Irish accent filtered round the kitchen, I stifled a yawn, pulling up a chair to sit at the breakfast bar. I helped myself to some coffee and a plate of rather delicious looking food was placed in front of me a few seconds later. Kieran took his sets opposite me. "Thought I'd do you up some breakfast,"

"Thanks," I took a bite out of a slice of toast. "Where's Mum? I thought she'd be the one fussing about me this morning,"

"Popped out to get some milk," he shook the empty carton. "Your lovely friend is with her as well,"

"Jesus. I thought she'd still be asleep,"

"Been up early I think. So how's life treating you back in wonderful Bristol?"

"Shit," I laughed at the basic answer I'd given, deciding to continue. "Work sucks sometimes, there's not much to do, so I basically spend my weekends getting pissed and the weather is fucking awful,"

"Love life?" He asks, I pause. "Sorry, it's none of my fucking business."

"It's okay. I guess Mum told you about Lucy?"

"She may have mentioned it once or twice," he confirmed with a gentle, almost sympathetic smile. He knew I hated sympathy. "Are you alright?"

"That my girlfriend cheated with some guy for weeks? Yeah, perfect." I finish and realise that sounded worse than I intended it to be. "I'm fine. It did hurt for a bit but fuck it,"

"Love eh?"

"I didn't love her," I responded quickly, placing my fork down on the table and pushing my plate a little to the side. "She was nice, we had fun but...it wasn't like before. You know,"

"Ah dear Emily," he said fondly. He always did like Emily, Mum too. I would always make jokes about how they loved her more than they loved me. She became part of the family, made to feel like she belonged but it soon went disastrously wrong. "One day, you're gonna find someone who will make you as happy as your Mother makes me."

"I think I already let that one slip,"

"I used to think I was destined to be alone forever, then I met your wonderful Mother and now look at me,"

"It's great to see you two so happy, you know." I genuinely smiled. "I've missed you both."

"We've missed you too, kid. Place isn't the same without you."

"So what are we doing tonight?" Zoe questioned, pulling several bikinis out her suitcase. I laughed as i looked on from the edge of the bed I was sat on. Zoe had taken enough to last her two months by the looks of it. Never mind two weeks.

"Jesus Zo, do you think you've brought enough?" I picked up one of her bikinis, twirling it around my finger before putting it in the neat little pile of clothes she'd removed from her case. "I guess we could hit the beach today, I mean, we need to make sure you get use out of all these,"

"Sunbathe all day, drink cocktails then get hammered tonight?"

"Sounds good to me. I need to work on this tan," I groaned, glancing down at my legs. Rainy Bristol did absolutely nothing for them, that's for sure.

"Yep, you won't pull with those legs, Naomikins."

"Zo!"

"Sorry," she giggled, dodging the pillow that I just tossed in her direction. "It just slipped out."

"You really have been spending too much time with Cook," that wasn't entirely true but I said it anyway, knowing that when we returned home, I'd be doing everything possible to make sure they spent more time together. "And my legs are fine thank you very much,"

"Uh huh. I'm sure they'll attract plenty of attention at the bar tonight. Might even get us free drinks like last week."

"Eurgh, he was a total sleaze," I scrunched her face at the reminder of the unwanted attention we received last weekend at our local bar. He guy jumped from both of us all night, giving out any old pathetic, washed up chat line he could think of. Zoe went along with the fun, purely because it meant keeping our money firmly in our bags. "Anyway, what bar?"

"Saw one when I was out with your Mum earlier, Ekon or something,"

"That sounds shit,"

"It looks nice and they're doing half price cocktails tonight, so it can't be all bad."

"Yeah I guess but if it's shit, I'm not staying," I insist.

"If it's shit, we'll go somewhere else,"

It was another hour into the morning before we arrived at the beach. Unsurprisingly it was rammed full of happy holidaymakers but Zoe luckily managed to find two empty sun loungers that just so happened to be perfectly positioned quite close to a nearby drinks bar. It was only a little after eleven in the morning but since I was on holiday, I told myself I had every right to enjoy every moment. If that meant drinking cocktails at the beach before lunch then so be it. I purchased two, taking our place on the beach. I adjusted the sunglasses on my face and laid back, sighing quite contently. I needed this break.

Two weeks. No pressures from work, no stress about my social life. Perfect.

I enjoyed this beach and had spent a lot of my time down here during previous visits. Sometimes just happily sitting most of the night, occasionally with a bottle of vodka for company, there was something quite soothing about spending a night here, when it was quiet.

"I love it here," I broke the silence, sipping my sex on the beach cocktail through the fancy straw that was popped in my glass by the barman who also let me leave with a wink or two.

"Remind me again why you agreed to stay in Bristol," Zoe laughed, applying some oil to her legs.

"It's home," I shrugged. "I can't follow Mum and Kieran forever,"

"They'd be happy to have you here and you know it,"

"You trying to get rid of me Zo? Get rid of me and move Cook in,"

"Oh fuckoff, Campbell." She smiled, feeling her cheeks go red. I knew she hated how that happened. Cook pretty much fancied her from the moment I introduced them to one another, at that time, Zoe was caught up in some rather messy complicated relationship but now she wasn't and her feelings were rather obvious to me.

"I'm being serious, Naoms. I could see you living here,"

"Maybe one day," I'd thought about it, some nights I'd agonised over it. There were times I didn't really have much left back in England, especially when a Emily left. Now things were different. I've got a job, friends, a flat and as much as I had complained about all of them at one time or another, I couldn't really see myself without any of it. "I'm not gonna fuck off and leave you behind,"

"Who said anything about leaving me?" She said, open mouthed. "I'd be fucking moving out here with you given the chance,"

"Wouldn't go anywhere without you Zo,"

"Nice to know," she smiled, finishing off her drink before looking out into the sea, a thoughtful look on her face. "Fancy a swim?"

"You go ahead," I nodded towards the water. "I'm gonna go get another drink,"

"Great," Zoe beamed, handing her glass over. "Same again then,"

I made my way back to the bar, unwillingly getting myself involved in a ball game with a group of shirtless guys on the way. I merely laughed off the attention and wolf whistles before propping myself up on the stool as I waited to be served. A different guy from before was now serving and as I silently expressed my happiness that I wasn't going to be leered over further, I felt someone tap my leg. I gazed down, seeing the most adorable looking little girl looking up at me, her eyes were teary and I immediately noticed how her bottom lip was trembling.

"Hello," I spoke gently, forgetting about the bar as I crouched down to be on the same level as the little girl. "Are you lost?" Her head nodded slowly, her eyes searching around the busy each before settling back on me. I told myself not to panic, even though in my head I totally was. I was probably the last person anyone would want in this situation. "It's okay, we'll find your Mummy and Daddy in no time,"

"Olivia? Olivia, thank god," before I could react, a woman appeared and scooped the little girl up into her arms, hugging her tightly whilst placing a kiss on her head. I stepped back, my instant sense of relief slowly turning into confusion. I'd slowly registered the voice in my head, I knew it, I'd heard it before, albeit many years ago. "I told you to stay with me, it's too busy," she placed the little girl back to her feet, clutching her hand as she took a few steps forward towards me.

That's when she stopped.

That's when I knew.

"Well if it isn't Katie Fitch herself,"


	3. Chapter 3

She was stood just a few yards from me, staring at me with a million emotions written all over her face. Shock at first but that soon turned into anger. Olivia was handed over to what I assumed was Katie's boyfriend and the pair of them went off happily for some ice cream. I averted my eyes from the rather pissed off glare that met me and kicked up some sand from the beach. There were things I wanted to say but I knew some kind of Fitch backlash was coming straight for me and I couldn't really hide from it.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Wow," I rolled my eyes, chewing my bottom lip so a silly smirk wouldn't appear on my lips. From what I looked at, Katie Fitch hadn't changed at all. In appearance or attitude. Still the same up front, over protective Katie she always was. "It's nice to see you too, Katie,"

"Cut the fucking bullshit, Naomi. What are you doing here?" She asked again, more forcefully this time.

"Well last time I checked it was a free country," I stated, continuing straight after. "If you must know, I'm on holiday. My Mum lives here now and I'm visiting for a couple of weeks,"

"Your Mum lives here?"

"Yeah, for almost two years now," I accepted and paid for the drinks at the bar and made my way over to the empty nearby table, perching myself on one of the stools. I signalled for my former friend to take a seat opposite me.

"I'm not fucking staying," she sneered at me, like she used to many many years ago.

"Come on Katie. Five minutes then by all means you can leave," I pleaded with her and was happy when she reluctantly took up the seat opposite. From where I was sitting, I couldn't see Zoe back at the sun loungers, so turned my attention back towards Katie. I could feel Emily's name on the tip of my tongue, I was almost desperate just to ask how she was, where she was, if she was happy. Anything really. I held back.

"Well? Get on with it then, I don't really want to be sitting here,"

"We used to be friends,"

"A long time ago," Katie answered quickly. "You do remember why we aren't anymore, right?"

"Of course I do," I replied quietly, running my fingers around the top of the drinks glass. "I was young, stupid, I made a mistake,"

"A mistake? You fucked someone else," Katie hissed quietly, suddenly aware of the holidaymakers around us. An older woman frowned in our direction as she walked past. "Pretty big fucking mistake,"

"I know,"

I sat in pained silence, still staring into the drinks I had bought at the bar. I couldn't argue. Everything Katie continued to say was true. I was selfish, I had lost the best thing that was ever likely to happen to me and I had no one to blame but myself. I didn't need to hear it but I could tell Katie had held this in for so long.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"I deserved all that,"

"Too right you fucking did,"

"If it makes you feel any better, I've hated myself ever since,"

"Not as much as I hate you," Katie sneered, refusing to look anywhere else except straight at me, the girl who broke and shattered her Sister's heart. "Ems is fine by the way, if you care,"

"Of course I fucking care," I yelled, almost choking on my drink. "I've never stopped caring,"

"It's been six years,"

"There hasn't been a day in those six years that I haven't thought about her,"

"Whatever,"

"It's the truth,"

"You broke her, Naomi. You fucked her up so much, I used to think she would never be okay again. For months she cried herself to sleep, night after night. Do you know how hard that was for me to hear? I've never seen Em like that," The words made me flinch, it was still raw that I had caused that amount of pain towards the person I loved most. "But she's better now, she's happy,"

"I'm glad," I added with a nod, circling the straw around the glass of orange coloured alcohol. Was she happy with someone else? Had someone else made Emily happy? Made her move on? So many questions were filtering through my head but again, I held back, instead taking the conversation in a different direction. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Well, what you been doing for the last six years? Cute kid by the way,"

"Beautiful isn't she? Gets it from her Mu,"

"Making new friends already are we, Naoms?" Zoe approached the table, unaware that she was interrupting a conversation. Katie's eyes narrowed, watching the dark haired bikini wearing woman help herself to one of the cocktails that I had been sitting with for over ten minutes. "Thought you'd got lost, got bored waiting for my drink,"

"Sorry," I smiled my apologetic smile. "I bumped into an old friend,"

"Oh right. God, Emily?" Zoe frowned, looking at the girl who was sat across the table.

"No, this is Katie. She's Emily's Sister, twins remember?"

"Oh, right. Hi," she laughed, extending her hand, which Katie surprisingly took and exchanged a greeting. "Sorry, it's just I've seen some photos of Emily before,"

"Right," Katie said simply, glancing back across at me. Surely it can't have been that ridiculous that I actually kept some pictures of Emily. I hadn't looked at them in a while but I knew they were still in the old shoe box in my cupboard where I put them years ago. "So, how long have you been here?"

"We arrived last night," I answered. "You?"

"Not long,"

"Auntie Kay, Auntie Kay," the little girl appeared from nowhere, excitedly rushing over to Katie, who ignored my instant steely glare. Auntie? My stomach tightened and twisted straight away. "Jakey bought me two ice-creams,"

"Wow, aren't you lucky?"

"Hey, you little monster," Katie's boyfriend reappeared, ruffling the little girl's hair, she giggled and playfully hit his hands away. "You weren't supposed to tell Auntie Kay about two ice-creams,"

"Do me a favour babes," Katie spoke, I still watched on, silent. Zoe sitting next to me. I wasn't even sure if she had been listening. "I'll be right back over in a few minutes, I've just got to finish catching up with a friend,"

They kissed briefly and he took Olivia back off onto the beach. I could hardly wait until they were out of earshot before I blurted out what I had been holding back for a few minutes.

"Auntie?" I frowned, well aware of the lump appearing in my throat. "She isn't yours?"

"Didn't I mention?" She smirked, her usual victory smirk that I saw so often at college. A part of me always wanted to knock it from her face back then and I didn't feel all too different even now. I knew what was coming, I knew by the stupid look on her face. "She's Emily's kid,"


	4. Chapter 4

It felt like Katie had physically punched me in the gut.

It had been a long time since I experienced a similar feeling, recalling in my head that the last time was probably when Emily said we were finished and walked out on me. It wasn't nice revisiting it. My stomach clenched and tightly twisted as she pushed back her chair and walked off, visibly happy with the bombshell she had just dropped on me. It was typical Katie and it reminded me of times way before I got with Emily properly. She was always warning me off, doing anything possible to keep me away. It didn't work then. As I watched her disappear into the crowded beach, I decided I'd do the one thing I've always been good at.

I ran.

I ran as fast as I probably ever have, leaving Zoe behind. I arrived back at my Mum's apartment a few minutes later, out of breath and gasping for air. I was relieved to see the car in the driveway gone, remembering that both my Mum and Keiran had plans for this afternoon and even more relieved when I found a half empty bottle of Keiran's Irish whiskey on the kitchen counter. I helped myself, pouring a single measure just as my friend appeared in the doorway.

"Little warning next time you decide to take off like that yeah?" She smiles gently, leaning on the doorframe as I knock back the shot of alcohol I'd helped myself to. It burned my throat. "Running around Cyprus after you in a bikini wasn't on my high list of priorities today you know,"

"Sorry," I say immediately, realising it was a bit stupid of me to run off and leave her in a place she wasn't familiar with. "I didn't know what else to do, I was torn between punching that stupid smug grin off her face or running & hell, I've always been good at running away,"

"You alright?" She properly enters the room, taking a seat next to me at the breakfast bar. I shrug at first, peeling the label off the whiskey bottle until she takes it from me. "This stuff isn't going to change anything,"

"It makes me forget," I finish off what was in the glass and place it down on the table, running my hands through my hair. I really wish I could forget. Properly.

"Yeah maybe, for a while," she adds in the gentle comforting tone I've been used to ever since I've known her. She's firmly turned into my shoulder to cry on and this was turning out to be just another one of those times. "Then it'll wear off, you'll wake up and things will just be the same as they are now. You'll still be here, Emily will still have had a baby. You can't change what's already happened, Naoms."

"I wish you could,"

"But you can't. It's been a really long time since you and Emily,"

"I know that," the harsh tone in my voice instantly softens when I realise there's no point taking anything out on anyone else, least of all the one person who's never once left my side ever since she appeared. "It's not as if I expected her to stay on her own forever, I mean, I just, a baby, a family?"

"Hey, she's had a kid, you don't know anything else,"

"I know she's moved on, properly moved on," I swallow the lump in my throat, telling myself not to let the barriers drop completely, no matter how much I wanted to. "Look at me, Zo. I haven't changed at all in six years. I still live in Bristol, I have the same daily routine week in, week out. I've got no relationship, a job I can't stand half the time, a handful of friends and she's went and had a baby,"

"Do you always do that?"

"Do what?" I frown.

"Compare yourself to Emily?" She asks, I shrug my shoulders. "All this, it's just you torturing yourself, you know that don't you? Your sitting here making assumptions and probably all the wrong ones too,"

"Torturing myself?"

"You going to deny it?"

"No," there would be no point, even I'm not that good at lying.

"You aren't over her," she says simply, I open my mouth to reply but she continues before I can form anything. "I knew it from the beginning. It doesn't take a genius to work it out and Cook talks,"

"Cook?"

"He worries about you," she says seriously. "He thought Lucy was as right for you as I did, nothing like Emily he said,"

"Spend cosy nights in talking about me did you?"

"No, of course not. It wasn't like that,"

"Lucy wasn't Em," I almost laugh at how stupid it is to even attempt to compare the two. They couldn't of been more different. "She wasn't even close and for a time, I thought I could convince myself that that's what I wanted,"

"And now?"

"I've never been over Emily," for the first time, I allow myself to admit it and the barriers I was trying so hard to keep up, faltered. "I don't think there will ever be a time where I'll be over her. I love that girl more than I've ever loved anything my whole life. I fucked up, I lost her and I have to live with that,"

"You have been," she answers reaching over the table to give my hand a gentle squeeze. "Reach out to her, Naoms, ask Katie for a number,"

"Are you shitting me?" I couldn't hold in the little laugh that escaped me. "Trust me, Katie would rather gouge her eyes out than ever let me near Emily again,"

"You don't know that,"

"You don't know Katie,"

"No but I know you. I know this is going to drive you mad for the next two weeks we're here and it'll continue when we get back to Bristol too," I attempted to cut her off with a response but she continued before I could find the words. "No offence but I can't really be dealing with you moping about the flat with a face like a slapped arse,"

"Jesus, thanks," I roll my eyes, unable to hide my lips curving into the smallest of smiles. She always did that, made me smile somehow or other.

"Meant in the nicest way possible. I'm no expert but I've known you long enough to know you'll regret this if you don't at least try,"

"Don't you ever get tired of being right all the time?" I cock my eyebrow, she laughed, shaking her head. "I overheard Katie mention some apartment earlier, I'll go tomorrow,"

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow," I replied, sliding off the stool I'd been sitting on. "I promise,"

It was gone 8pm and I was finally ready to head out to experience some of the Cyprus nightlife with Zoe, whenever she would hurry her arse along and be ready that is. I'd been waiting out on the balcony, overlooking some of the waterfront for half an hour. The lights from the clubs in the distance had started to flicker across the water. Pretty soon I'd hear the faint thump of music too but for now it was quite peaceful. I slip a cigarette out from my packet and light it.

My peace and quiet didn't last very long which was probably a good thing because it meant I didn't sit here, thinking of nothing but Emily.

"Oh here you are," I heard the sliding doors open and saw my Mum appear from inside. She closed over the glass door and took up the chair next to me. "Thought you'd already be out by now,"

"Just waiting on Zoe, she always takes forever to get ready," taking a quick drag of my cigarette, I smile at the 'you still haven't quit' look I'm receiving. "How was your day then?"

"Oh you know, can't complain," she grinned back at me, showing off some bracelet Keiran treated her to when they were out. It really was nice to see they were both so happy. More than anyone, they both deserved all they have. "So, what about your day?"

"It was eventful," I stuttered, quickly deciding I'd say nothing about my encounter with Katie. I knew if she got the slightest hint about me possibly getting in touch with Emily again, I'd never hear the end of it. She'd mean well, of course she would. My Mum always supported us and there's no doubting she loved Emily dearly but there was no need in getting her excited over what could turn out to be nothing. So I changed the subject quickly. "Great to see some sun though, you almost forget what that's like back home,"

"One thing I definitely don't miss, the shitty Bristol weather," she laughed, I did too, flicking the end of my cigarette before smoking some more. "I do miss you though. How've things been back home? Minus the Lucy thing of course,"

"Things have been fine, I'm over the whole Lucy thing," I stubbed the remainder of my cigarette out in the tray. "Got a taste of my own medicine didn't I? I cheated, fucked up my relationship and lost the best thing that ever happened to me then, few years down the line, I get to feel not even half of how I made Emily feel. Karma and all that,"

"You shouldn't keep punishing yourself love," she whispered, I looked away, focusing out towards the beach. "You know you're more than welcome to stay here, don't you?"

"Thanks," I turned back to her, forcing a smile as I did so. I'd heard that offer twice today but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't nice to feel wanted. "Maybe one day, yeah? Probably when you and Keiran are old and need looking after,"

"Charming,"

"You know I'm joking. I wouldn't want to leave Zoe or Cook, oh and before I forget, he says hi by the way,"

"Do miss the little fucker too, hope he's keeping himself out of trouble,"

"You know Cook," I chuckle. I wasn't sure if it was possible for Cook to behave himself for any decent length of time. "No really, he's doing great."

"So where you going tonight?"

"Zoe said she spotted some club this morning when she was with you, we'll try there and maybe a few others," I stopped for a moment, the balcony door sliding open to reveal my fully dressed, ready for partying best friend. She did look good, I'll give her that but having spent the best part of two hours getting ready, I'd of expected nothing less. "Jesus, thank god! You do know you take fucking ages to get ready?"

"Can't rush perfection, Naomikins," she winked, I swear one day I'll kill her for calling me that. "Aren't you going to go get ready?"

"Eh I am fucking ready, I've been ready for an hour,"

"I was joking," she laughed, placing her hand on my shoulder, even my Mum chuckled. "You look beautiful. So, we ready to go?"

"Do you want me to give you girls a lift?"

"No thanks," I politely declined, knowing from earlier that Keiran had planned some cosy night in, drinking wine and more than likely chatting about a whole heap of bollocks. I pushed myself back from the table, turning to Zoe. "Did you call a taxi?"

"It's outside,"

"Then let's go see what Cyprus nightlife has to offer,"


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm gonna buy some shots!"

Zoe announced in my ear, over the loud thump of music whilst waving her purse in mid air. I smiled knowingly at her and nodded. Zoe always did shots. She certainly knew how to drink. I knew that from the first proper night out we had, both ending up ridiculously drunk and late for work a whole day after our night out. There had been many a night like that one since.

I sat at our table in the far corner of the club when she wandered off to the bar. I wasn't overly keen on this place earlier but it was rather busy, in fact it was pretty clear this was one of the busiest clubs on the strip. The half price cocktails at certain hours of the night probably had something to do with that, seen as most of the other clubs were ridiculously overpriced.

I noticed Zoe patiently waiting at the bar where there was quite a queue, luckily I had a small amount of alcohol left over from the drinks we bought earlier. I took a mouthful and reached into my bag, pulling out my phone. One new message. I smiled when I saw 'Cook' flash up on my screen.

_ 'Blondie, how's the hols? x' _

I paused for a moment, unsure of where to start, if I was going to start at all, my thumbs dancing over the keypad for a few seconds. I'd only been here a day and already I'd had so much to take in. We'd been out for a few hours and I'd honestly tried with every inch of me, not to think about Emily. Of course, it was pretty much impossible but a number of drinks and a couple of dances sure put more of a smile on my was the best I was going to get.

I glanced back down at my phone. I'd always opened up to Cook. I told him everything & trusted him. He was more brotherly like to me than a best friend. I decided to reply.

_ 'First day couldn't of been more eventful. Bumped into Katie friggin' Fitch x' _

No sooner had the message been sent, I got a reply.

_'No fucking way. Small world, Naomikins. You okay?x' _

_'That's not even the half of it. I wish it was x' _

"You've got an admirer by the way," Zoe laughed, returning from the bar with a few drinks and a couple of shots. I looked at her from my phone just as she placed a slip of paper in front of me. "Guy at the bar, checkered shirt, dark hair, he asked me to give you this. I know you aren't interested but I'm too nice to break that to him,"

"Geez, thanks," I smile and roll my eyes at her as she sits down, managing a sneaky look towards the guy at the bar, who I caught looking in my direction. I folded the piece of paper with his number scrawled across it and slipped it into my purse. I had no intentions of using it or even looking at it properly but he was watching me and I didn't want to be a complete heartless bitch. "To be fair, he does look quite fit from here,"

"He's flippin' gorgeous," she confirms. "Gutted he ignored all this just to tell me how beautiful my friend looks," she laughs causing me to join in & nods towards the phone in my hand which just went off, alerting me to another message. "Anyone interesting?"

"Uh? Oh just Cook. He text asking how we were, I told him about Katie and was about to tell him about Emily," I stop in mid sentence, reading my new message. "He wants me to call. Will you be okay for a few minutes while I go somewhere quieter?"

She confirmed that she'd be fine for a few moments and I got up and walked past the bar, through the swinging doors and towards the female toilets. They were closer than going all the way across the club to go outside. For such a busy club, the toilets were surprisingly quiet. Usually they are full of gossiping, bitchy girls staring at themselves in the mirror but there were only two and they soon left. I scrolled down my contacts and found Cook's number, tapping the green call icon straight away.

He answered quickly.

"Naomikins, you alright babes?" He sounded concerned, Cook always did when it came to me and he knew something wasn't right. He was fiercely protective but I liked that. he was someone I could rely on, always. "Katie didn't rough you up or anything did she?"

"Fuck no," I almost laugh. I wouldn't blame her if she tried but I was also quite capable of defending myself. Vocally and physically. I made my way into the cubicle, pulling across the lock, I leant against the door. "It's Emily,"

"Emilio?" I loved when he called her that. It was something that just stuck from college days. Emily had several names in return for him, sometimes not always nice but it was always good natured. "Is she okay? What's going on?"

"She's had a baby, Cook," I blurted it out quickly and his silence on the other end of the phone said everything about his shock. He stumbled over a few words, so I decided to continue. "We met at the beach, I thought she was Katie's. She took great delight in telling me otherwise,"

"Emily doesn't like cock," his blunt response was typically Cook.

"Cook, fuck sake," I cursed loudly. "I've been over all this in my head, a million times in fact. Maybe she met someone, you know, clicked with them,"

"Yeah but a bloke? Emilio's gay, there's every chance it was a one off shag," he was right, in a way. "Is Emily there?"

"I don't know," I sigh. "I don't think so. I'm thinking of tracking Katie down tomorrow, ask for Em's number or something,"

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"I don't know, what do you think?"

"I think you're fucking mental if you think Katie will help you get in contact with Emily again," he said what I expected, I knew there was a but coming though. "But you've wished this chance for years, I know that. You can't let it go without trying,"

"That's what Zo said," I smile weakly.

"How is my lil Irish eye candy?"

"If you two don't admit you want to fuck each other soon, I'm gonna scream, you know that don't you?" I laugh at him. "It's not like you to be so held back, Cook."

"Yeah well, I like this one," I can't see him but I know he's got that stupid yet equally loveable James Cook grin on his face. I knew it wasn't typical of him to openly admit that he liked someone, a bit like myself. I'm not sure he really has felt anything since Effy all those years ago. "Babe, tread carefully tomorrow yeah?"

"I've got no expectations," I answered, chewing my bottom lip. "No expectations, no hurt, right?" I learnt that from him.

"Right," he replied, talking to someone else briefly. "Naoms, Ben just got here, I've gotta go but text me tomorrow yeah? Let me know how things go,"

I promised and he hung up.

I stood in front of the mirror, touching up some of my make up before a group of drunken, overly loud and excitable girls burst in. Hen weekend from what I could gather. I'm sure most, if not all of them would be suffering tomorrow. I smiled politely, squeezing past to leave them to it and ended up out in the walkway just before the entrance back into the main room of the club.

I was only there, leaning against the wall, with my eyes shut for a few seconds when I was interrupted by another woman. I ignored her and pushed off the wall, walking in the direction of the loud music.

"Sorry, can I help you?" She asked. I stopped suddenly. Even over the beat of the music that was playing, I'd know that husky toned voice anywhere, no matter how long it had been since I last heard it. "The ladies is just through the next door if you're lost,"

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I took a deep breath, trying to regain some kind of control over my crazy beating heart. It didn't work and I could hear her walk closer. I started to panic. A small part of me thought about rushing through the door in front of me, losing myself in the crowds of the club but I couldn't move forward. I couldn't run.

I inhaled deeply, chewing my bottom lip so hard i'm surprised it didn't bleed and decided it was best to just turn around quickly. Face her, Naomi. Look at her. It felt like I told myself ten times before I did anything. I spun on my heel and instantly our eyes locked.

"Hi Emily,"


	6. Chapter 6

The music suddenly seemed so much louder. I couldn't hear myself think. Emily was there, right there, pretty much within touching distance yet I couldn't move towards her, I couldn't speak and I'm pretty sure I was struggling to breathe too. I had completely froze.

She stared at me, narrowing her eyes, I wasn't sure if she was thinking of slapping me hard across the face or enveloping me in one of those amazing Fitch cuddles of hers. You know the kind where someone holds you so tight it's like you are all that matters. That option was nothing more than wishful thinking on my part. It was like she wasn't altogether sure it was really me. Despite the change in hair colour and a few years behind me, I hadn't really changed and from who I was now looking at, neither had she.

Her red coloured hair hung loosely just below her shoulders, I quickly noted how much the Cyprus sun had got to her skin because it was a lot darker than what I remembered. I was always so jealous of how easily she could manage a tan. I always seemed to struggle, something which she teased me about endlessly at times, especially on the holiday to Spain during our college days. I remember everything about that week. The beautiful hotel, our favourite places to go to dinner, Emily's favourite made up cocktail that some barman knocked up at her odd request, the stargazing, the love making at the beach. It was easily the best week of my life and it seemed like a lifetime ago now.

"Naomi," she finally coaxed out a throaty whisper, the mere mention of my name leaving her lips caused a deep flutter in my stomach, which only intensified when she took a step closer. "Jesus, it's really you. What the fuck are you doing here?"

Her question wasn't laced with the same pissed off anger that her sister's was earlier in the day. I was instantly relieved by that.

"Holiday," is all I manage, I swallow hard and try again. "Visiting my Mum actually,"

"Visiting?"

"She moved here with Kieran just over a year ago, they bought one of those new apartments on the hill,"

"Right," she answered. "Right," then repeated, shaking her head a little as if to shake thoughts from her mind. "Sorry, it's just I didn't... Well, I didn't,"

"Expect to see me?" I finish for her, shooting a weak smile in her direction. I think part of me was still awaiting that sharp slap in the face.

"Understatement of the century," she allowed herself to smile back just for a second. I caught it and I remembered in an instant why I had always loved it. "You look well,"

"Thanks, so do you, you look great," Shit. I stop myself from saying anything else. I could easily stand here and tell her she's still the most beautiful person I've ever known but I don't.

"Thank you, you'd be surprised how much good living here does for you,"

"What?" I ask quickly, not sure if I misheard over the music from the club.

"You live here in Cyprus?"

"Yeah," she nods, "I can hardly hear myself think over this music, do you want to come into the office?"

Turns out, not only does she live here, she's the proud owner of this particular nightclub too. I'm surprised. Never in a million years would I have said owning a club abroad would be high on the list of Emily's priorities but I guess things change as years pass.

I entered the office with her, closing the door behind me. It blocked out the noise from the club and suddenly I could hear myself think. She slipped behind the desk and I couldn't help but take a little look around. There was a stack of paperwork in front of her, with a computer and a couple of framed photographs. My eye immediately caught one of them. It was the little girl from the beach. Her little girl. From where I was stood, I couldn't properly see but I made sure I averted my gaze elsewhere before she caught me.

"You don't have to stand at the door, sit down, you make the place look untidy," she laughed and signalled towards the leather sofa to the left of her desk. I took the few steps across the office and perched myself on the seat. "So, you're a successful business woman?"

"I don't know about that," she grins, I chew my lip. "I bought this place with Katie two years ago, it's ours but you would never think it. She's hardly ever here and as you can see, I do most of the work,"

"That sounds typically like Katie,"

"It was a seventy thirty split, so technically it's more my place than hers anyway," she says, clearing some of the clutter from the top of her desk. "I just needed a little bit of help to get going,"

"So how long have you actually stayed here?"

"Four years," she answers clearing her throat. "I moved here after spending some time in Scotland,"

"Scotland?"

"Edinburgh to be exact, it's a lovely place, I met some really decent people there," my head swirls and I momentarily wonder if she is dating any of these 'decent people' or more to the point, if any of these 'decent people' is Father to her kid that I still haven't let on to knowing about. "But life here is slightly better, I mean I've got the weather, a beautiful beach on my doorstep and I think I've gave this place a good go, I'm actually quite proud of it,"

"Gotta say, I'm not sure I expected all this,"

"What did you expect? Me to still be the mess I was when I left you?" She asks, a rather harsh and annoyed tone to her voice.

"That's not what I meant,"

"Good, cos life goes on, I certainly wasn't going to let your mistakes rule the rest of my life,"

"I wouldn't expect you to," my voice comes out barely more than a whisper. "It was my fault, one hundred percent my fault,"

"You finally woke up and realised then?"

"Emily, are we really going to do this?" I outwardly sigh. "Here? Now?"

"Six years too late?" She scoffs, shaking her head at me. I hated when she looked at me like that. Disappointment, anger, hurt, everything mixed into one look. "No thanks,"

"You ran remember?" I say and no sooner as the words left my mouth, do I regret it. Fuck sake. I curse under my breath, rubbing my forehead with my fingers.

"What?"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter,"

"I ran?" She echoes me. "Don't you do that, don't you dare,"

"Emily, I didn't,"

"No," her voice raises a level in volume, taking me a bit by surprise. "No. You cheated, Naomi. You fucked someone else and everything we had and worked towards was ruined because of that. Don't you fucking dare stand there and say I ran away from us, there was no us to run away from. You made sure of that,"

"I'm sorry, okay?"

"That empty word,"

"It's not empty," I insist, sitting forward. "Emily, I've never said that word to you and not meant it, never,"

"But you have said it," she replies cuttingly. "So many times,"

"Emily don't,"

"This was a mistake. You should go," she says, a lot softer than before but I still knew she meant it. Her fist was clenched on the desk and she was biting her bottom lip furiously. I knew that was when she was angry, attempting so hard to hold her emotions together. I stood up from the leather seat and stepped forward but she spoke again before I could. "Just go, Naomi,"

It took a lot for me to pick up my bag and leave her office, I even leant against the door as I closed it behind me. I stood for a moment, unsure of what I wanted to do. Go back to the club, turn back into the office or just stand and let the tears spring from my eyes. The third option was pushing, the second was tempting but I went with the first, knowing I'd left Zoe on her own for more than long enough.

"Where the shittin' hell have you been?" Zoe chuckled as I approached our table, she failed to notice my ragged all over the place behaviour. "If you were much longer, I was seriously considering going over there with those guys to make some conversation,"

"Can we go?" I plead, quickly lifting a drink and knocking back the vodka that was left. "Please, I wanna get out of here,"

"Erm yeah if that's what you want," she says with a frown. "Are you okay? What happened with Cook?"

"Nothing," I finish off my drink and loudly place the glass back on the table, wiping my mouth with my hand. Zoe was just staring at me, unimpressed with the one word shortened answer I'd just given her. I sometimes forget that she can read me so easily. "Nothing, okay?"

"So why the sudden rush to do your best Usain Bolt impression out of here?"

"Emily," I say immediately interrupting Zoe who narrowed her eyes at me from the table. "She's here, back there, in this club, her club... Please, I just wanna fucking go,"

"Naomi wait," she stood up as I walked off and managed to catch up with me just outside the entrance of the club. I felt her hand gently on my arm and she spun me around. "You run and you'll regret it,"

"She told me to go,"

"And you started doing what you were told since when?" She smirked for a second and softly squeezed my arm. "She wouldn't of meant it,"

"You didn't see the way she looked at me,"

"She's just angry, you must of expected that,"

"What number did you use to call the taxi before?" I ask, pulling my phone from my bag and deflecting from the subject. "We'll probably wait forever for one,"

"You're unbelievable,"

"Heard it my whole life," I shoot back, placing my phone to my ear.

"Are you gonna run you're whole life too?" She reaches up, taking my phone from my hand before I heard anyone else on the other end. "I'm being a friend here, okay?"

"You're being a pain in the arse, that's what you're being,"

"Maybe," she flashes a grin, knowing full well how annoying she's being at the moment. "I'm gonna call the taxi but you're staying here,"

"Zo," I groan, tossing my head back.

"She's basically right on the other side of that wall, Naomi. How long have you spent a lonely night in Bristol just wishing for this chance? Are you really going to throw that away?"

"You forgetting she told me to leave and said it was a mistake?"

"Ride it out, she's gonna be angry, she's gonna shout and bring things up but deal with it, okay? Don't run away," she stepped forward, forcing my phone back into my hands before reaching up to place a soft kiss on my cheek. "You'll be fine, now get back in there. I'll text you when I've got back to the apartment,"

I don't know how she manages it but Zoe always has the ability to talk me into things. As I stood nervously outside Emily's office door, I realised my best friend had succeeded again. I'm pretty certain if it wasn't for her, I'd be half way across Cyprus, heading to the apartment and contemplating getting a morning flight straight back to England. See, I'm good at running. Emily knows that better than most, so she's probably sitting behind this door, half expecting to never see me again. Whether she'd honestly be happy with that, I wasn't sure.

I take a deep breath, puffing my cheeks out and raise my hand to the door, hesitating for a few seconds. Be brave. The two words echo in my head and the more they do, the more I'm right back at that lake and it's Emily's voice that's telling me to be brave. I drop my hand to the knob of the door and in one swift motion, push down and enter the office.

"Brandon, what have I told you about knocking first?" Emily mutters from her chair, too busy studying whatever was on the computer screen in front of her to lift her eyes for a few seconds. "How is it out there, still got that hen party in?"

"I passed them at the bar," I say, after clearing my throat. Emily's gaze shoots up from the screen and meets mine. "I know you told me to go but I can't,"


	7. Chapter 7

"Thought you'd be running half way across Cyprus by now, booking a flight back to England," Emily mutters, switching her brown eyed glare from me back to the computer screen in front of her. A soft smile tugged at my mouth, despite her obvious annoyance. She still knew me better than most. Even if it were flaws of mine I wasn't particularly proud of. I heard her tap away on the keyboard momentarily before she paused. "Do you make a habit of loitering in doorways?"

"No," I answer, unable to shift my feet from the position they were in. "I wasn't sure if you wanted me to stay so,"

"Well, I didn't," she adds, swivelling her chair out from under her desk. "You came back for a reason though, I sort of want to hear it,"

"Okay," I nod. That's a start.

"Well?"

"I don't want to add to my ever growing list of regrets," I don't of course but the main reason I'm here and not running is because Zoe basically forced me and I don't think 'because my friend told me to' is what Emily wants to hear right now. Nor should she. "That and I'm really sorry for what I said,"

"What part?"

"Pretty much all of it," I offer an apologetic smile, one which she seems to accept because she signals towards the leather seats for me to sit down. I feel comfortable enough to do so and perch myself on the edge. "I'm maybe six years older but I'm still the expert at fucking things up,"

"You haven't changed then?"

"I dunno, maybe I haven't," I shrug, my glare catching sight of the photographs which sit proudly on her desk. I can see them more clearly now. There's a recent Fitch family photo and the one I noticed earlier. Olivia pulling the cheekiest face whilst at the beach. I hadn't noticed before but she looks so much like a Emily. Definitely a Fitch. The better side of course. I pull my glare away and put all my focus and attention back on my still favourite red head. "Have you?"

"I sort of had to," she replies, switching off her computer screen. "I was a mess when I left, I had to sort myself out. I wouldn't be here now if I didn't," I refuse to meet her glare, instantly feeling weighed down with guilt. I don't see her get up off her chair, I don't even see her move towards me until she's right there, placing a picture frame in my hands. I look down and see the picture of Olivia staring back at me. "That's twice I've caught you staring at this,"

"So," I attempt to clear my throat. "You've had a baby?"

"It would seem so," she laughs gently, sitting herself down next to me. "Just before I moved here,"

"But I thought you were,"

"What, as gay as a window?" She smiles at me and I really wish she wouldn't because it flips my stomach back and forth. "I am. Olivia's Dad, he isn't around. It was one night out and I was ridiculously off my face,"

"Oh," is all I manage.

"I was still hurting over you,"

"I'm sorry,"

"You've said," she sighs gently and takes the picture frame from me. Her face breaks into a proper warm loving smile as she looks down on it, tracing her finger over the glass. "She's easily the best thing that's ever happened to me. It's just me and her, against the world,"

"You aren't with anyone?" I blurt out, mentally kicking myself straight afterwards for doing so.

"No," her head shakes and she trails off for a few seconds before looking back at me. "There's been a few but nothing I've ever felt completely right about. Once they find out about Olivia they tend to run a mile, that and I've got some issues with trust you know?"

"Yeah," I mutter quietly, knowing it was another jab in my direction. A deserved one.

"So, what about you?" She brightens up suddenly. "Has there been anyone?"

"One. She cheated," I see her mouth drop from the corner of my eye, I fix on a smile and continue. "Kinda ironic right? I mean, I got what I deserved,"

"No one deserves to feel like that, it's horrible," she says softly, anyone else would probably revel in the fact that an ex got a bitter taste of their own medicine but not Emily. She's better than that. "Were you two serious together?"

"Not really," I murmur. "A small part of me thought we could of been but Cook had his suspicions and turns out as much as she liked me, she liked her ex boyfriend a lot more,"

"That's shit,"

"Yeah, it was for a bit,"

Emily pushes herself from the office sofa and reaches into one of the drawers of her filing cabinets. She pulls out an opened bottle of vodka and grabs two glasses from the side. I decline the offer of another drink but somehow end up with a glass in my hand a few seconds later.

"Why did you do it?" Emily's question breaks the silence that had filtered between us for a few brief moments. I furrowed my brow and took a mouthful from my glass when she continued. "Sleep with that girl,"

"Scared," I offer as an answer, a pretty pathetic one at that. The way that Emily is looking at me, I can tell she expected no less than that pitiful response. I sigh. The least she deserves is some sort of explanation. "I let you grab this hold of us and it scared the fucking shit out of me,"

"So much that you fucked someone else?"

"I know it makes no sense,"

"Not really," she shrugs, her voice quieter than before. "I guess over time I just convinced myself that something was wrong with me,"

"What?" I almost splutter my drink everywhere. That's ridiculous. "There's nothing wrong with you, Emily. There wasn't then, there isn't now,"

"You went to someone else, Naomi. Instead of me,"

"I pushed the panic button. I don't know why but I just... I was scared of being happy, I was scared of you, of us,"

"I was scared of us too, didn't you stop for a second to think that?"

"You seemed to deal with us a lot better than me,"

"I just hid my fear so much better than you," she answers truthfully, a sad look showing on her face for a few seconds. "Didn't mean I wasn't scared of you because I was,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Stop saying that word," she says, smiling at the same time to let me know there was no anger laced in her voice somewhere. "All I hope for now is that one day, I will find someone who will love me the same way I loved you,"

"I did love you, Emily,"

"I know," she nods, biting her lip for a few seconds. "In your own fucked up way, I know you did," I want to correct her and say do but instead, I stare into the bottom of my glass and swirl around the remaining alcohol. "So, how's Bristol?"

I'm surprised at how easily she can change the subject when discussing something so serious. She positions herself back on the chair next to me and for a second, her fingers graze my knuckles as she reaches over and fills my glass back up. She just grins, that sweet innocent way she does which totally sets the butterflies off in my stomach and sends an electric shiver up my spine. Jesus.

Over an hour passes before we realise the time and realise it's much later than we thought it was. Interrupted in mid conversation by one of the bar staff, I pull myself from the sofa and stumble against her desk as the alcohol goes straight to my head. Thankfully, Emily is too busy chatting business to notice my near embarrassing fall. I clutch my bag, slipping my phone inside just as I hear her office door click shut.

"I should get going," I try and fail to stifle my yawn. "I didn't realise how late it was,"

"Yeah, it's getting late," she comments, going over on her heel as she made moved to walk across the office floor. I instinctively put my arm out, making sure she stays upright. Seems like that vodka has went straight to both our heads. She falls into me and without really thinking my hands are barely touching her hips. "Ow, fucking hell,"

"Jesus Em," a laugh escapes my lips. "Are you okay?"

"I sometimes forget I can't drink the same as before," she hiccups, rather cutely and I feel her hand rest on my hip which makes my breath hitch up in my throat. I almost choke.

"I think I should get you home,"

"No, no," she waves her hand away, her body falling more into mine so I'm pushed backwards slightly, my thighs touch the edge of her desk and I'm positive, as her eyes map my face, that she spends a second looking a my lips more than anything or anywhere else but I can't be sure. Not when I've had this much alcohol. "Don't worry about me, I'll get home fine,"

"Still, I don't want to leave you like this,"

"You care?"

"What? Of course I do,"

"I should hate you," she says so quietly, I almost don't hear it. I feel her hand slip round onto my back, her fingers tracing shapes at the bottom of my spine. I clench my eyes shut tight. I used to love when she touched me there. I lost count of the amount of times she'd trace her fingers along the bottom of my back when we were cuddled up in bed together. That was all a long time ago but I know she still remembers. "I should just... I should..."

I don't hear anything for what seems like forever. It's only a mere few seconds but with my eyes still closed over, I feel her breath linger on my cheek before her lips gently touch mine. It makes me flinch and I allow my eyes to flicker open just as she slips her hand around my neck to draw me closer. Her tongue begs for entrance and I resist it for all of a few seconds before I part my lips and kiss her back, guiding us both against the office door.


	8. Chapter 8

"Naomi Campbell you dirty little stop out," Zoe's overly excited voice teases me in the kitchen, she brushes past me sitting at the table, running her hand across my shoulder as she flicks on the kettle switch. I raise my eyebrow at her and take a bite out of my toast. I know she was desperate to hear all about last night. Every little detail no doubt. The two texts I woke up to earlier in the morning proved that. "I heard you sneaking in early this morning, things with Emily go okay?"

"Uh huh," I just nod, taking a mouthful of now lukewarm tea from my mug. "We had a good chat,"

"Right," she grins knowingly. "A chat?"

"Yes, a chat,"

"Naoms, the mark on your neck says otherwise," Shit. I forgot about that. She just casually winks at me and turns her back to fix up her morning coffee.

I feel myself blushing as I bring my hand up to my neck to hide it, even though there's no real point now that she's seen the visible mark Emily decided to leave on me. I most definitely didn't care or complain at the time, pinned against the wall of her office while her still familiar lips attacked my flesh, quite the opposite infact.

We fucked, twice. We ended up falling asleep soon afterwards, on her office sofa and when I woke up a little after 4am, she was gone. I wasn't surprised, nor angry. How could I be? I'm pretty certain when the volumes of vodka had worn off and she woke up, the last person she would of expected laying partially clothed next to her was me. So after spending a few minutes searching her office for my bra, which turned into quite a challenge in itself and a rather awkward meeting with a member of her staff who was locking up for the night, I hailed a taxi down and slinked back to my Mum's apartment, without her or Kieran noticing at least. Zoe was an altogether different matter but I didn't mind. She would of questioned me anyway.

"Stop looking at me like that," I shoot a somewhat playful glare at her as she sits down across from me, that annoying 'I told you so' look on her face. "How long have I known you and why am I only just discovering how annoying you are?"

"Oh come on," she laughs at me, stealing a slice of toast from my plate and taking a bite. Pleased with herself. "So, how long was it before she fell hook, line and sinker for that irresistible Campbell charm of yours eh?"

"It wasn't like that,"

"No?" She feigns surprised. "So, what was it like? I'm guessing she isn't seeing anyone, there's no baby Daddy or anything like that?"

"A one night thing apparently, he isn't around,"

"I told you," she grins. "And going by your obvious glow this morning, Emily is still very much gay and still very much into you,"

"My glow?" I almost laugh. "We were drunk. Actually we were both fucking gone,"

"So?"

"So, it just sort of happened," I offer with a shrug. "She kissed me and,"

"Woah, wait," she stopped me. "Emily made the first move?"

"Yeah," I casually run my fingers around the rim of my mug. "But she was hammered, we fell asleep and when I woke up, she was gone. So I've no idea what's going through her head,"

"But you are seeing her again, right?"

"I'm not sure,"

If the question was 'do you want to see her again?', my answer would one hundred times be a straight forward yes. As she left before I woke, I have no idea what she's feeling or thinking. Maybe the fact she fucked off and left me asleep is a sure sign of something I just don't want to believe. I refuse to dwell on that theory for any second longer.

"So you fucked her and didn't even get her number?" She shakes her head, furrowing her brow as she sips at her coffee. "You, Naomikins, are losing your touch,"

"Oh fuck off," I roll my eyes. "Didn't seem like I was losing it last night,"

"Yuk," she pulls a face and I laugh.

"Seriously though, I know where she works don't I? I just don't want to suffocate her, she needs to get her head around me being here, seeing me again,"

"Think she did most of that last night," she smirks from behind her mug.

"And it probably scared the shit out of her," I reply, pushing some food around my plate. Suddenly I didn't feel like eating much more. "She needs space, I can go see her at the club anytime,"

"You're only here two weeks," she states rather obviously. I had already let that thought into my mind this morning. That, amongst many other things. All Emily related of course. "Just don't waste a lot of that time, that's all I'm saying,"

Two weeks wasn't anywhere near enough time to attempt to make up for my past fuckery. Two years was probably a lot closer to the timescale but I was determined to work with the twelve days, nine hours and however many minutes I had left here.

"I need a shower,"

Up until I showered, I could still smell Emily Fitch on every inch of my body. I almost forgot what it was like to have her lingering on my skin hours after being with her. When we were together before, our after sex activities usually consisted of snuggling under a duvet with some film she loved and I had no real interest in watching or, if the mood really took us, it led to more fun in the shower. Something which Emily would always instigate. I lost count of the number of times she'd almost make me late for things. Not that I ever complained. Emily Fitch was always impossible to resist. Especially a wet naked Emily Fitch.

I shuddered at the thought and stepped out of the bathroom in a towel.

It's over an hour when I'm ready. I opt for my jean shorts, a loose t shirt with some summer print on the front and my bikini underneath. I knew whatever Zoe's plans were for the day, catching some sun rays would be at the very top of the list or thereabouts. That girl worships the sun.

As it turns out, I was correct. We spend most of the day at the beach, allowing the sun to assault our bodies before we travelled to the local market to do some shopping. A few tacky souvenir gifts & a cheap bottle of vodka later, we make our way back to the apartment with bags in hand.

We barely reach the driveway before the front door flies open and my Mum appears, looking overly excited and happy. Like happy more than usual. I mutter a curse under my breath and Zoe shoots me a confused glare. She still hadn't seen my Mum in overdrive.

"Sweetheart, there you are, where have you been? I've been trying to call you," I pull out my phone as she carries on and see four missed calls. I apologise for it being on silent. "Never mind, you're here now. I've got a surprise for you,"

"Mum," I groan as she tugs my hand. "You know I don't like surprises,"

I never did like surprises, until a certain redhead started showing me the value of them. From surprising me at work on a Friday afternoon, to random little gifts, to sex, whenever and wherever she fancied. Oh Emily loved surprises and in turn she made me like hers but since her? Nothing.

"Come on, you'll like this one," she grinned happily as we stepped through the doorway, I kicked off my shoes and Zoe placed the shopping bags on the floor. "I couldn't quite believe it myself. Of all the places and all the people,"

"What?"

I could swear my heart suddenly started beating ten times faster. I thought Emily. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I didn't have time to think of anything else. My Mum tugged me through to the lounge and there she was.

Katie Fitch. Smug, annoying and sipping wine at the table. Great. Just great.

"Hi Naomi," she smirked. "Nice to see you again,"

She didn't mean it. Of course she didn't but my Mum didn't know that and she was beaming happily next to me waiting for some grand reunion between former friends. She was going to be disappointed.

"What are you doing here?"

"Naomi," I felt my Mum nudge my arm. "Don't be rude,"

"Mum,"

"I was just coming back from dinner and we literally bumped into each other, didn't we Katie?" My Mum carries on, Katie nodding as she does so. "Couldn't believe it,"

"Can you give us a minute, please?" I ask sharply refusing to budge my glare from across the room. After a few seconds and with some help from my friend, talking about the souvenir gifts we purchased, my Mum leaves. I click the door shut behind them and put on my best fake smile before spinning to see Katie.

"Nice apartment, your Mum's still lovely, nice wine by the way,"

"Cut the shit," I interrupt quickly. "Why didn't you tell me Emily was here too?"

"Why the fuck do you think?" She frowns. "All you've ever done is hurt her,"

"That's fucking bullshit,"

"Is it?" She counters, slipping off her seat to stand with me.

"Yes,"

"Whatever,"

"I spectacularly fucked up," I admit. "Once,"

"Once was enough, I'm not giving you the chance to do that to her again,"

"Jesus," my eyes rolled and I bit my lip from smirking. This was typical of the controlling Katie I knew from years ago.

"Something funny?"

"When are you going to realise she isn't yours, Katie? She doesn't need to live in your shadow anymore, she hasn't had to for years. You know that don't you?"

"I only look after her,"

"No you don't," I answer as she drinks the remaining wine from the glass. "You try and rule her life, there's a difference. Nothing's changed with you has it?"

"Emily's happy, she's got Olivia, she's made a life for herself here," she steps forward, closing the space between us. "Enjoy the rest of your holiday but stay the fuck away from my Sister, she's finally over you,"

I clenched my eyes shut when she deliberately knocks into my shoulder on the way to the door. I bite my lip for a second and spin around quickly.

"It seemed like it when she fucked me in the office of the club last night," the words leave my mouth angrily and it stops Katie at the door just as I wanted. I knew she'd hate hearing that more than anything else and as wrong as it was to blab, I loved turning the tables on the gobby Fitch twin. "She couldn't get enough of me actually,"

"You're lying,"

"Am I?"

"Ems isn't that stupid, she wouldn't,"

"She's got a new tattoo, right above her waistline," I pause for a few seconds, Katie says nothing so I continue. "It really suits her,"

Now she knew I wasn't lying. Her face flushed red with anger.

"Fuck off,"

"She's not a kid anymore. Christ, she's even had a kid of her own,"

"Which is why you should stay away," she swipes at me. "You screwed Emily up before, I won't let you do that again, not with Olivia around,"

"Remember when you told me to stay away from Em before?" I question, she frowns towards me but I know she'll remember. "In the cafe before the college ball. You told me she wasn't mine,"

"She isn't,"

"You told me not to go to the college ball that night. I didn't listen to you then. So, what makes you think I'll listen to you now?" I wait for a response and get nothing but an angry scowl. I half expect her hand to meet my face but it doesn't. I step forward, taking her by surprise. "Don't come round here threatening me, Katie. I'm not going to push Emily for anything, what happens next is up to her. She'll make her own decision,"

"She'll make the right decision,"

"If you thought that, you wouldn't be here warning me off,"

"I mean it, Naomi," her teeth grit at me. "Stay away,"

"Are you done?" I ask, ignoring her face that's almost pushed into mine. She refuses to answer, instead nodding her head. "Then you should leave,"

She does. Promptly turning on her heel and slamming the door on her exit. I sigh loudly and throw my head back just as Zoe cautiously appears in the doorway.

"You alright?"

"Perfect," I flash my best smile. "Just perfect,"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N- Thanks for the feedback guys, sorry about the little delay with this chapter. Had it written then re-done it because I wasn't totally happy with it. **

Taking a seat at the familiar spot on the beach, I run my fingers through the sand and look out into the calming sea. It's peaceful, quiet and the drunken party goers at the strip in the background are almost muted. It's just the way I like it to be when I come here. It's a little before midnight and whilst everyone back at the apartment retired to bed not too long after dinner, I couldn't sleep. I seemed to toss and turn a fair bit before I grabbed my phone and my cigarettes. I slipped on some clothes and ten minutes later I was sat here. In the times I'd been in Cyprus, this part of the beach seemed to be where I'd always end up when I just needed time by myself. To do some thinking by myself. I love it here.

It's been two days since Katie left her threat with me in the lounge of my Mum's apartment. I had been out since then, at this beach, out on the boats, drinking at the strip but much to my relief, I hadn't seen her again. Not that I was looking for her.

I hadn't seen Emily either but that was more my own doing rather than having anything to do with what Katie said to me. I'd avoided her club at all costs, despite Zoe nagging me earlier to go back, suggesting rather obviously that we go there for a couple of drinks before Mum cooked dinner for the evening. I knew she meant well but I stuck firm with my instinct to give Emily the space I was sure she needed. Seeing her and being with her again had managed to fuck with my head so I couldn't even imagine what the other night had done to her.

The vibration of my phone startles me somewhat and as I glance down at the screen, I half expect to see my Mum or Zoe's number flash up, wanting to know where I am. It's neither of them though and I feel myself instantly smiling when I see it's Cook. I quickly slip a cigarette from my packet and light it before pressing the phone to my ear.

"Hey Naomikins,"

"Better late than never," I smile, reminding him that he said he'd call back after he had to cut short our phone call yesterday. I'd pretty much just finished telling him about Emily when he got called back to work.

"Sorry," he apologies and explains some work stuff to me before switching the conversation back to me. "So, how's my favourite blonde? Sorted things out with my favourite red yet?"

"I'm sat alone on the beach with a packet of cigarettes and a half empty bottle of vodka for company, what do you think?"

"What are you doing there?" He asks with a slight pause. "Isn't it like, one in the morning?"

"Almost," I answer, taking a long drag of my smoke.

"Bit late for sandcastle building ain't it?"

"Prick," I laugh down the speaker. "I couldn't sleep,"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I offer, not sure if it was entirely true. I'm not even sure he believes it. "Will take more than Katie Fitch to put me off, you know?"

"Good," he chuckles. "I really think you should make some serious moves with Emilio soon though, yeah? Two days is a lot of time wasted when you only have two weeks,"

"Bit scared she's gonna tell me to fuck off if I'm honest," I take a large swig of vodka from the bottle and screw the cap back on, placing it by my side. "Worse still that she never ever wants to see me again,"

"Nah, that won't happen babe,"

"I'm not sure I would deal with that too well, you know? In fact, I know I wouldn't,"

"Blondie, chill yeah?" he does his best to reassure me. "This is Emilio we're talking about ain't it? She's always thought the sun shines from your arse,"

"It's been a long time since then, Cook. Things change,"

"She ripped your clothes off quick enough, didn't she?" Typical Cook, I roll my eyes as he carries on. "Drunk or not, it's you and Emily, blondie and Emilio, I've never known something to be so right in my whole life,"

"You know Cook, it's a good job I'm the only one that knows you aren't half as bad as you make people believe,"

"Don't tell any my secrets,"

"I won't tell any yours," I finish for him and stop when I hear some movement behind me. I turn my body around just as her figure comes into view properly.

Emily.

Cook's voice is still in my ear but as I pull myself to my feet, I know I'm no longer listening to what he's talking about. I can't focus on him or anything other than the beautiful red head who is still stepping closer to me. She stops, a couple of yards away and smiles, the slightest of smiles which shoots a warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I clench my eyes shut for no more than a second, knowing full well when I ping them back open, the first thing they'll do is rake over every inch of her body. No matter how hard I try to make them not, it'll happen. It does and as my gaze falls on her adorable face, I use every ounce of energy to not be distracted South to where her white blouse is open slightly. Jesus. I was behaving like a sixteen year old boy, suddenly so desperate to eye fuck every inch of her body.

"Naomi? Babe? Are you even listening to me?"

"Uuuhh?" I shook my head clear. "Yeah, of course I am,"

"Sorry," Emily says suddenly from behind me. "I didn't mean to interrupt,"

"Cook, I have to go,"

"Who was that?" He questions, immediately following that question up with a few others. "Is that Emily? It is, isn't it? EMILIOOO,"

"Cook, shut up. Look, I have to go," I turn my back on Emily for a second. "I'll give you a call tomorrow or something, yeah?"

I hung up the phone and spun around again, Emily was standing, looking down at the ground, she kicked some sand from underneath her feet. I closed some of the space between us by stepping forward and that made her avert her gaze from the beach onto me.

"Hey,"

"Hey yourself," I smile back at her typically husky voice.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," she nods towards the phone in my hand. "Sorry,"

"Oh, don't worry," I shrug and slip my phone into my front pocket. "It was just Cook, I can call him back later. What you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same thing?"

"I couldn't sleep," I explain, reaching down for my pack of cigarettes, I slide them into my pocket alongside my phone. "I just like to come here sometimes when it's quiet. I get to clear my head, you know, admire the view,"

"Yeah, it's nice," she agrees, momentarily looking out towards the water. "It's peaceful,"

"So, is that why you're out here at this time?" I probe. "For some peace and quiet?"

"I wish," she laughs lightly. "It's been a busy night at the club. I was just catching a few minutes of fresh air when I saw you coming out here,"

"So you followed me?" Obviously. I ask anyway.

"I think we need to talk," she says, suddenly sitting down on the beach, crossing her legs over as she waits for me to do the same. "Actually, I think we should talk, don't you?"

"Okay," I merely nod, reaching my hand into my front pocket for my cigarettes. I offer one to Emily.

"No thanks, I quit years ago," she declines, so I place the fag between my lips.

"I tried," I sigh, taking a drag, eventually sitting next to her. "I failed,"

"Was easy for me, I stopped when I was pregnant and after Olivia, I had no real interest in taking it up again," she pauses and as I continue to smoke away, I feel her watching me. Usually when I sense someone's eyes on me, it makes me nervous, uncomfortable but Emily's eyes have always been a different story. "I'm sorry I left before, you know, after we,"

"It's alright, you don't have to explain to me,"

"Katie was bringing Olivia back early from her place, so I had to be home,"

"Emily," I smile at her because despite me telling her she doesn't have to explain, she did so anyway. "It really is alright, you had to go. I understand. Nice to know being with me again didn't make you run a mile though,"

"Yeah," she muses, tracing shapes in the sand with her finger.

"What?"

"It was a mistake," she doesn't look up for a few moments, instead deciding to focus so much on the shapes she'd drawn just seconds before. I smoke some more, ignoring the lump that's already appeared in my throat. "The vodka went straight to my head,"

"Right," I snap between drags of my cigarette, eventually deciding to flick it in front of me.

"I can't let it happen again,"

"Okay,"

"Is that it?"

"Well what else do you want me to say, Emily? You've obviously made your mind up and made it early on seen as you left me in your office,"

"Thought we'd try role reversal, I seem to remember you leaving me in your bed a number of times, even invited someone else in once,"

"That ain't fucking fair," I hit back sternly, pushing myself up to my feet. Emily mirrored my movement. "It isn't true either,"

"I need to go,"

"Please don't walk away from me,"

"I have to,"

"Why?"

"Because I'm scared of what will happen if I don't," she answers truthfully and turns away from me. I reach out and gently take her arm.

"I'm scared of what will happen if I let you walk off this beach," my honesty makes her turn around, I drop my hand from her arm and let out a sigh as I bite my bottom lip. "I let you walk away so easily before, it ruined me Emily. I never thought I'd ever see you again, yet here I am, with you. I can't let you walk away again,"

"What is it you want from me, Naomi?"

"A chance," I answer simply. "Just a chance to get back something from what we used to be,"

"We're a long way off from what we used to be," her reply is quiet but I hear it enough to know how much it's laced with hurt. "Maybe Katie's right, maybe we can never get even close to how we were before,"

"Don't you even want to try?" I ask, afraid of the answer which doesn't follow straight away. "Forget what Katie says. She came round a few days ago, you know? Proper warned me off you,"

"What?"

"She didn't tell you? Fuck. Of course she didn't," my eyes roll. "If she knew you were here now, she'd freak. She doesn't want me anywhere near you,"

"Well that's not up to her," she says simply, my mouth almost curves into the tiniest of smiles. "I can make my own decisions,"

"And?"

"Well, I'm still here aren't I?" Her shoulders shrug, this time my mouth does curve into a smile, one that I don't even try and hide. "One thing I have missed is that stupid goofy grin of yours,"

"Excuse me, goofy?" I chuckle. "I'll let you have that one for free,"

"So kind," she pokes her tongue out at me and for a moment, a mere split second, it's like how we were. "I really should be getting back, I said I'd only be a few minutes,"

"Can I walk you back?"

"It's only across the beach," she laughs and quickly follows. "But you can if you like,"

I walked back with her in silence, not an uncomfortable one by any means. It was nice even though it only took a few minutes to reach her club. We stopped outside, a group of young English lads wolf whistling at us as they exited the club and passed us. It made us laugh.

"I've been meaning to ask you something," I nod towards the bright colourful lit up sign above the club. "Ekon? What does it mean?"

"It was my idea," she spoke, glancing up at the letters before focusing her gaze back on me. "It's our initials. Mine, Katie's, Olivia's and... Well... Yours,"

"Mine?"

"Katie went fucking mental of course," She giggles, in that infectious, heart stopping way I always remembered. I wasn't sure I could adore her more than I did but I've just proved myself wrong. "But it's my club and despite everything you made me feel, everything you did, you're a part of my life I don't want to forget,"

"I don't know what to say,"

"Gotta be a first," her smile flashes across her lips.

"You always could leave me speechless,"

"Come to the club tomorrow, I've got deliveries in the morning but we could have coffee afterwards?"

"I'd love to,"

"Great," she grins broadly, matching mine. "I'll see you about midday then?"

"I'll be there,"


End file.
